Dan Man

Hi my name is Danny Khazem and I’m (technically not) an Alcoholic.

I know what it’s like to be drunk with drunk people. It’s a fun experience had by all, usually no one gets hurt; we try to keep it as jovial and upbeat as possible. These days I take a page out of the current Tony Stark’s book and try to walk the line of sobriety. It truly is an eye opening experience, one I hope to take a lot from. You really start to see people at their basest. Sometimes it’s good; other times it’s wretchedly upsetting. I care about the people in my life, and I like to believe I’m a happy go lucky drunk. I’m pretty sure I am. But the fact of the matter is I shouldn’t be stumbling into my apartment EVERY night after 4am. So I decided to take a break. A serious one this time, though. I really need to take a look at who I am beyond the alcohol. I don’t think I’m an alcoholic. I’m not dependent on it. But I don’t want to BECOME dependent on it. Seeing drunk people from the outside perspective really makes me see how I most likely act and how sober people see me. For that reason I’m changing my ways. Some may think it’s for someone; surely a part of me thinks that, but it’s not the only reason. Its not changing who I am. I will drink again, but for now I need a change of pace. Get my head straight, get my body right, and hopefully get the girl. That’s what most stories are about in the end anyway, aren’t they? How to get the girl, how to keep the girl, how to get over the girl. Life. You just don’t want to end up alone, yet most of your life even though you’re surrounded by people you’re still so alone. I’m done with this awkward stream of conscious I just needed to vent. This helped.

joshruben:

chriscantwell:

Thursday is brought to you by the Ninja Turtles Pizza Thrower.

“Why are we so happy? We just lost our lunch!”

I definitely had this.

“ Diamond rings? Sacred vows? Living together? Those are the things nightmares are made of.

— Hal Jordan, Green Lantern Sector 2814

patrickcassels:

“Breakfast At Tiffany’s” by Olde English.

Epic. Simply epic.

jakeandamir:

Bowling for Soup

Great Gatsby Bear, The Rise and Fall of Tony Stark, and Doop Strikes Back

So the beginning of school has come and gone, and everyone is basically settling into their schedules. I, myself, eased into it all pretty easy because of already living down here for more then a month prior. My classes so far seem like they will be pretty good; a lesson it took 3 years to learn even though everyone told me, “pick your teacher, not your class.” And it is absolutely true; sure you need certain classes but find the best teacher who teaches the class and get them as your professor.

I began organzing my writing and suprisingly I have a lot of ~~shit~~ ~~things~~ ideas I need to collect and put together on paper. Sooner or later I will create the first script and end up drawing the first issue, and it will be glorious. It’ll be something to do after college; I also considered the Peace Corps.

It seems as though my Pimp It Hard, Tony Stark-Style attitude just isn’t working anymore; something stole my mojo and the ladies can sense it. We’ll see where things go for the next few days.

Doop is being a little whiny bitch. No, literally. Doop is dying before my eyes and I’m just letting him. I don’t feel like going on a long diatribe about how there is love lost between us; it’s pretty much agreed we are a married couple in their later years, hoping the other kicks so they can get money from the insurance policy. Doop hates me; he decided that if I don’t turn the key completely to the left he’ll start crying as if the alarm wasn’t turned off when I turned the key. I mean, if I turned the key and was able to get into the car, I feel as though the alarm was deactiviated, but clearly not in Doop’s eyes. Oh well, a Prius or Fit will surely be a fine replacement for one of my best friends of the past 3-4 years. Yes it’s sad but it’s cold calculation, he must be put out of his misery but I’m riding him down til he ultimately dies in my arms; or more realistically he dies while I’m driving him.

“ You can’t let them sterilize the prostitute.

— My PLAW Teacher

Oh, Snapple Facts…..

[Flash 9 is required to listen to audio.]

Why Couldn’t I Be Danny Ketch?

So today began at 7:30 am. Why so early, you say? Well I had to deposit money so I could get a cashier’s check to mail out ASAP to pay the rent by Monday. To save money and gas (Since I have a quarter of a tank and money, well, you’ll see what happened) I rode my bike. It only took about 10-15 minutes, not bad at all. So I deposit the money and cash coins to make sure I have enough, and the guy tells me I’m 20 bucks short. How can that be? I just checked last night and I had enough. He tells me a check cleared for $31 and some cents. The fucking water bill! So, with 0 cash, no coins, and clearly I can’t take money off of a credit card, I called my mom. Always a last resort and one I hate to use, she gladly put $20 into our joint savings account and i switched it over. I spent a good 45 minutes in the bank, and then I rode off to mail the check. As I walk into my apartment, the door is already open and the maintenance guy is working on my smoke detector. It’s such a nice day and I have no plans as of yet, I decide to change into more comfortable clothes, and rode off on my bike to be adventurous. I followed a bike path which ended at Pitney Rd and I decided, “hey that’s where the intersection where Wawa, Shoprite and Commerce are! I’ll go there and grab a beverage with the 10 dollars or so left on my credit card!” Pitney Road….longer than I thought. The whole ride I listened to Radiohead, and once I hit a certain point I was getting a little frustrated and hot. I heard the song 15 Steps and I kept on going, but for a moment I wished, “Couldn’t I just transform my bike into the hell bike? Would it still be a bike but with flaming tires, or would it be a motorcycle?” On my journey down Pitney I stumbled on the bar a bunch of people at school always talk about, the Blue Marlin. And right after it I found the intersection. I snatched a Lemonade tea, some peanuts, and I was back on the road to my apartment.

So…how would you react if you saw water coming out of your smoke detector? Curious, to say the least. Well earlier today while on my laptop, I heard an odd screech and then a dripping sound; I had assumed it was coming from the shower. I walk into my bathroom and to my suprise the water isn’t coming from the sink or the shower, but pouring out of the vent in the ceiling! I go to run and wake Niel up to tell him this conundrum, and I had to suddenly avoid water coming from, yes, the damn smoke detector! After waking Niel up I fly up the stairs to our above nieghbor’s apartment where the worker guys are fixing up the place. Apparently they knocked the draining pipe from the washer out and didn’t realize. Thanks, asshole.